Ok, for anyone who knows me, I used to write poetry... A LOT. After the stroke, I was afraid to try it again for fear that it ju'st wouldn't work anymore. There are so many things that the stroke affected, I was terrified that that would be taken away from me too. So, here are a couple of examples of the first post-stroke poetry. These were an "assignment" from my speech therapist.
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Please don't say "I love you" anymore,
I don't want to hear it.
Please don't say you want me.
I know it's not the truth.
I have sat and watched a month of
moonless nights pass me by.
Those clouds haunt my dreams.
Never a vision of the once starry sky.
Please don't say "don't cry"
as my tears start their journey to the sea.
Please don't say "it's going to be alright."
because you don't know.
Let me feel what I feel and let that be ok.
I'm finished looking through your mirror sideways.
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Blinding nothiness has consumed me
weakened my force of life
taken away my light
thrust me into a tunnel of dark
No fear there, in the dark
all scary cannot be seen
all the pain I want, all the pain I need.
no solace to be found there in the nothingness
going through the motions of living
missing out on life
chunks of it
slipping away.
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OK, so most of my poetry isn't this dark and depressing, but things aren't going that well for me in my personal life. More to come about that later. I'm just not sure I have enough words yet.
please forgive me for any misspellings or grammar errors. i don't always catch them since the stroke.
20 comments:
okay, this is my second try, humph. but i still get first post! ahhhahahaha!
so, a fellow poetess! i used to write alot as well, but it's been years. (kids, blah blah blah) my poetry binder was just unearthed in the move, so mayhap i will post something for you to read trisha. i will have to reread it to see if it sucks first though!
congrats on your new blog! know i get to know you as well as i know dana! yay! i'm looking forward to it. good luck!
Hey Trisha!
Congrats on the new blog! It's good to know that you're writing poetry again. You're one of the most talented and creative people I know.
I'm working on a response to your e-mail but if you can call please do. I know it's a holiday but if you can find a few minutes to chat I'm game!
Love ya!
p.s. Hey Liz!!!
Hey girls, I had to unearth my old poetry binder from my sophomore year of high school to refresh myself. It wasn't a pretty week working on it, let me tell you. There's nothing worse than trying to write the poem to go along with the perfect line that you have in your head.
Thanks for the encouragement. I think it will be good for me to start writing again.
Dana, I'll try to give you call in a little while.
Hey Trisha! Okay so i don't know if you remember me from Dana's blog..I'm like the guru of keeping all you Twihards updated! LOL! Anyways, I am Sherrah, and I saw on Dana's blog, that you had a blog! Man, bloggers are taking over!!! Anyways....I first want to say that I am so sorry about the stroke...nothing I can say will ever be enough, but I want you to know that even though I don't know you very well, or you me...I am here for you and would love you to stop by my blog anytime!!!! Second, great poetry....I think that people who can write poetry have such a talent! So keep it coming girl!!
As for the cute missionaries...my hubby always makes fun of me cuz anytime we see them I like to honk and wave or yell at them or something, and my hubby thinks that's lame!! LOL! I just know what it feels like to be a missionary and how much it means to have someone say hi..so even though you missed them....you gotta get 'em next time! LOL! Hang in there girl and keep you chin up!! Heavenly Father knows what you are going through!!
BTW- my blog is www.thebartsrock.blogspot.com
Sherrah
oh, i forgot to mention that i have converted my mother in law to twilight! heeheehee! and sherrah, how come you haven't visited MY blog yet? i'm hurt...not really, but you should! well, and you too trisha, i haven't seen you commenting yet. you aren't LURKING are you? cause LURKERS should be SHOT, lol! anyway, for all you liz fans who haven't come out of the closet yet, here's the address;
www.lizswonderfulworld.blogspot.com
i MIGHT be putting poetry up soon...but i'm not garrunteeing (sp?!) the quality, lol!
Liz, I must say.. I have lurked a little. Just once or twice, so can I have a reprieve from the firing line? A proverbial smack on the hand maybe? I'll do better, I promise.
Another Twi-hard?!?! Yay! We are taking over the world. I told my family last night that when the movie comes out it's going to be me and a bunch of "emo" kids at the first showing!
LOL! Maybe I'll get to come home for Christmas and we can go together!!! It's you, me, and a bunch of emo kids.
i'll let you off the hook, trisha, for lurking only if you start commenting! now that you have a blog, i'm sure you understand the importance of comments for the ole self esteem. if nobody comments, and i'm sure i'm just a big baby this way, but i feel like nobody loves me, lol! john gets a big kick out of making fun of me for that.
ps. what the heck is an "emo" kid? if it's an inside joke just say so, but if it's not...
Hello Trisha! I love your poetry. I hope to see more! It looks like a good start to a great blog.
Ha ha Liz! You are not aware of the whole emo phenomenon? Ok, in all truth I would not be aware of it if it weren't for little-sister-who-
knows-about-every-music-movement-on the-planet-Daniele.
alright, care to EXPLAIN, missy? anyone?...
Hey Liz,
The term emo started with music and has moved on to describe a certain fashion. You know the kids with the skinny black jeans, hair pushed to one side, tshirts with bands you've not heard of and don't care to... Often the emo kids have dyed black hair, skater shoes or beaten up shoes...
You know the type. That's emo.
If you're still unclear you could wikipedia it. I'm sure they've got articles and probably pictures.
Love to all!!
OK, ok... for those not in the know.
EMO is a short way to describe the "emotional" movement in music, clothes, etc. Fall Out Boy and Good Charlotte are two of the popular bands that I can think of right now. It is generally associated with wearing all black, and lots and lots of black eyeliner. Does that help, Liz?
And all I can say to you girls is THANK YOU! Thanks for the encouragement with the poetry. You never know how much you've lost when you have a brain injury like a stroke, so to hear that you all enjoy my poems (even if you're just telling me that to make me feel better) means the world to me. I'll post more soon.
Ya'll are the best!
Ok, so Dana must have been composing her response to the emo question as I was writing mine... sorry to double up!
Trisha at least you included examples of bands. I didn't think to do that!
Can't wait to read more... And no I'm not just being nice!! LOL
Love ya
thanks for the explaination girls! how did i miss out on that bit of culture? those are some of my favorite bands! kids are supposed to keep you young aren't they? anyway, just in case you don't navigate to my blog today, my sister went into labor this morning! all on her own, so she didn't have to be induced! thanks for the prayers!
YAY for Liz's sister! Glad to hear it!
Dana, please come home.. so I won't be the creepy old woman at the movie's first showing in BG! How's the home hunting going?
Girl you're twenty-seven... and "creepy old woman" doesn't come anywhere close to describing you. You crack me up!
I really would like to come home in December. I'm gonna save up my vacation time and see if I can make it happen.
Still huntin' but I'm working more than I'm huntin' so that's really the hold up. Those few weeks with no pay have me in overtime mode! The paper with all the listings comes out tomorrow so I plan to made headway after work. I know that if we keep praying it'll all work out!
True that my friend, true that. You know I'm praying for it!
And making you laugh is the highlight of my day! But trust me... the thought of if being just me and all those emo boys with their entirely too skinny legs and more make up than I wear does make me feel a little creepy!
Ha Ha! Understandable... Boys and makeup yeah that's pretty creepy.
I think it'll work out for me to come home. I'm trying to take all my classes online this sememster so that would give me more freedom. Driving back and forth to school is just too expensive with $4 a gallon gas. So if I take classes online I can work more and then I'll get paid more... It's a good plan. :)
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