An end to a beginning
a wilting flower waiting for rain.
A beginning for an end
No longer versed in pain.
Ok, that's not so great. I know. But I just wrote that on the fly.
I've been thinking about endings a lot lately. And then my nephew graduated from high school tonight, so that just help make it hit home. I feel so old! It seems like yesterday that my mom was shaking me from a dreamless sleep telling me we had to go to the hospital. Then this little man was brought into my life. We have had great times shopping together for Christmas and my attempts to teach him about music... and teaching to broaden his horizons. We had the same heartbreak after our junior year of high school and had the same shared joy of leaving those school doors for the last time as a student. We share the same sense of humor and he can make me laugh until my stomach aches. He wanted a Sham-wow for graduation and unfortunately I didn't see the info-mercial to order him one. He's a lovely child and I am so proud of him.
Now I have my own endings to contemplate. However, somehow it's going to as easy as walking down the line and accepting a diploma.
I have a disease called pseudotumor cerbri, which literally means false brain tumor. The medicine leaves me in a fog a lot of the time. I have had 2 strokes at the age of 27 and even though I have been doing very well since I left the hospital in January, there are some speech issues that are unresolved. I am doing very well in the speech department though. Most people aren't even able to tell that I had any issues at all. I am not happy, but my speech therapist discharged me on Tuesday since I was doing so well. I have some issues that I can see (or hear as the case may be) but there's nothing I can do about it except take a deep breath and calm down. Maybe thats just what I need to do.... take a breath and calm down. I want this to end. I don't want to have deal with any of this anymore. But I'm grateful for every day that God gives me. If I have learned anything in the course of all the beginnings and endings in my life is to give thanks for each and every moment. Because you never know.
9 comments:
Oh girl! SO true! You definately don't know when anything will end. You are doing wondeful and you should know that there are a lot of people here that love you and support you no matter what. You will overcome all things....be strong girl! We are here for you and even though we have never gone through what you have, doesn't mean that we haven't concurred our own trials.....you are beautiful and strong and Heavenly Father loves you!!!!! Take care girl and keep us updated!
ditto sherrah! we will definitly be here if you need us. we bloggers must stick together! and you will always be in our prayers. hang in there, babe. we behind you one hundred in ten percent!
You guys have no idea how much that means to me! It's great to have people to keep reminding me that I'm not alone!
How about:
An end to the beginning,
A wilting flower yearning for rain.
A start waiting for the finish
No longer versed in pain.
Ah, maybe not yearning. Just thought I would mix it up for you in case you needed some fresh ideas. In case you wondering, I'm a better editor than writer.
don't mind timpani. she has to correct everyone. comes from being an english major.
I wasn't correcting! I was trying to help and possibly inspire.
You know you need to capitalize there right Liz ;)
i don't capitalize just to annoy you timpani, lol! :)
I always accept constructive criticism. I welcome it. And appreciate it.
Like I said, I just wrote that on the fly while pondering endings. I'll work on it and post the entire thing when it's done.
Wow! Discharged from speech already?! You've made amazing time and incredible progress. Remember it was just a few months ago that you couldn't drive? Now you're driving, writing, talking, working... The bulk of the physical challenges are over but here come the emotional ones. You are a survivor. All will be well. You've got backup and a place to stay. Always!
Love you! Call when ya can. We've not talked in a week I think!
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